Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
