Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
