home. puking in laundry basket.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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