Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I need to sanitize my soul.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
