The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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