..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
