do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
