its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
