you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
