I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
