"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
