its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
