In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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