Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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