You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
