I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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