Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
