I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
