She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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