I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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