I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
