somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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