Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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