i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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