id be glad to
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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