Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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