instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
