I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
