im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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