Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
