1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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