Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
