what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
