he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
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