So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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