I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
