i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
