she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
