I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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