This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
