My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize