Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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