My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Tornado booty call.. dedication
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
