so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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