shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you mean i was at the winter classic?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
