I met the friendliest cop last night
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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