So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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