What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
farters have to be the big spoon...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
