You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
