the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
