pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Two words: blizzard sex
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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