Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
