Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
there is puke in my bra ... again
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