Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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