I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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