Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
