just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
a search helicopter?!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
