are you still at the devil's house?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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